When I was in 6thgrade, a girl in my class told us that jumping up and down 50 times a day makes your boobs grow. Naturally, I jumped 100 times. Naturally, nothing happened. And even though it’s been a good decade-plus since then, and I’ve evolved mentally (and physically) past the point of wanting bigger boobs, the internet is apparently still looking for quick DIY methods to make your breasts larger. And the most recent trick? Toothpaste.
Excuse Me, What?
Yes, women are taking to YouTube to show off videos of themselves massaging toothpaste over their chests, as first spotted by Metro UK. “Tighten sagging breast in just 5 days using toothpastes no jokes [sic]” reads the title of one video, which shows a woman rubbing a cucumber, egg, and flour mixture over her chest. The view count? 7.7 million.
“What Vaseline & Toothpaste Did for my Tits!!” reads the title of another video, in which a woman details her experience—while massaging her nipples, as one does—with rubbing a concoction of toothpaste and petroleum jelly “like an idiot” over her breasts every night for 30 days. As you’d (hopefully) guess, the results were nonexistent. “Don’t be like me,” says the vlogger. “Don’t rub toothpaste on your nipples or Vaseline on your titty-balls because it will not grow your boobs.” Sage advice.