I just watched the adrenaline-pumping Jurassic World trailer that aired during the Super Bowl. Clad in a white suit that just begs to splattered with mud and gore, park operations manager Bryce Dallas Howard unveils a monstrous hybrid dinosaur. You can guess the rest: Dinosaurs are obviously already monsters, so creating it was a terrible idea. But you don’t need adventurer Chris Pratt to point out the reckless impracticality of the idea, do you? The instant you saw Howard’s pin-straight bangs, you knew she was bad news. As far as Hollywood is concerned, that’s the haircut of uptight control freaks.
Now I don’t expect Howard to be as purposefully nefarious as say Nicole Kidman’s Millicent in Paddington, much less Cate Blanchett’s Irina Spalko in Indiana Jones 4: Oh My God Who Green-lit This Travesty? (if the bob is supershort, you know she’s completely lost to the dark side). There’s even a chance Howard’s character will admit she was wrong and help Pratt save the day, like Selma Blair’s Vivian in Legally Blonde (thanks, side-swept bangs!). She probably secretly has a heart of gold under her icy exterior, like Krysten Ritter’s Chloe in* Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23*, whose occasionally wavy hair let you know she wasn’t all bad from the start.
To be fair, Hollywood has more than one hair type. Does your girl have beachy waves? She’s probably your down-to-earth, laid-back heroine. Frizzy and disheveled? Odds are she’s a crazy loon. But beware those bangs. Nothing good can come of them.
Do you have a favorite great moment in bad-girl hair? Tell us about it in the comments.