Pizza. Pizza is why you can’t lose weight—that and maybe because you haven’t got the right accessories.
Developed by NASA scientist Dr. Wayne Hayes, the Cold Shoulder vest’s premise is that you burn more calories and fat when you’ve got a bunch of knobby ice packs strapped to your torso that cause your body to expend more energy staying warm—up to 500 calories daily, according to the press release. It’s a bit of a why-didn’t-I-think-of-this-and-put-it-on-Kickstarter-first idea—especially when showering at a lower temperature and drinking ice water have been repeatedly touted as weight-loss strategies—but the vest is definitely the least uncomfortable and most elegant iteration of the concept.
Here’s how it works: Put the ice packs in the freezer alongside the broccoli and vodka. Once hardened, insert them into the fleecy life jacket’s back and shoulder compartments. (There are fewer nerve endings in those areas, so you don’t end up shaking like a poodle during a thunderstorm. Very considerate.) Strap yourself in, and watch Ice-T slam bad guys against walls or go Instagram deep-diving or whatever.