Gwyneth Paltrow has made a career out of dishing out painfully unrelatable beauty and health advice on her lifestyle blog, Goop. Need a pick-me-up? Try a $570 Ayurvedic massage. Want your skin to look fresher? Zoom over to Asia for a highly questionable threading face-lift. Need a gift for your bestie? Why not snag them an $8,300 yurt?
But on Friday, Goop took a shocking turn for the relatable when it published its “Fast Food Guide,” giving its readers advice on how to most “healthily” indulge in foods from restaurants accessible to us commoners, including Wendy’s, Chipotle, and even Taco Bell.
“While here at goop, we do our best to keep things clean and healthy, we’re also realists who know that sometimes — especially when it’s airline-terminal-adjacent, right off the next highway exit, or at your kid’s all-day competition (shout out to all the #dancemoms out there) — we’re going to eat fast food,” the post states. It then launches into a list of what to order at a selection of fast food chains, which are divided into the categories “Your Best Bet,” “Tricky, But Doable,” and “Just Order the Fries” (for those establishments where, in Goop’s opinion, it doesn’t even make sense to try to be healthy).
Chipotle and Panda Express both made it into the first category: Goop advises Chipotle eaters to order “a salad bowl, with some brown rice if you’re hungry” (skip the sour cream and cheese), and tells Panda Express lovers to stick to brown rice, steamed vegetables, and grilled mandarin chicken without sauce. Exciting. Wendy’s is also in this top tier of fast food healthiness, with Goop claiming that the “Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad” is a solid choice.
The worst health offenders, according to the Goop team, are Dunkin’ Donuts, Arby’s, DQ, and KFC. “The clean-ish options at these places are few and far between — and their marginal nutritional benefit might be outweighed by the delight of simply indulging in something you really want,” the guide states. “Who are we to stand between you and your Blizzard?” Sometimes, Goop gets it.
More on eating and nutrition:
- Here’s What Happens When You Eat Like Bella Hadid for a Week
- 18 Superfoods for Glowing Skin, According to Dermatologists
- Here’s What Victoria Beckham Eats for Glowing Skin
The Anti-Inflammatory Soup Victoria Beckham’s Nutritionist Loves: